Profile of Madison in The Company

At the center of The Company was Madison, a small wiry pale woman with a sharp nose and red hair. She possessed a jovial, intellectual and self-deprecating manner about her; somewhere between a C-grade Woody Allen and Douglas Adams. Superficially playful but always talkative, exhibitionistic, and nosy- it was difficult to percieve what was lying behind the mask.

She was a compulsive liar, telling me on various occasions that she was born on an army base in Germany, an island off of England, and in Queens. She constantly played members of the group against each other; and though she was regarded as the head prophetess of the group, it was pretty obvious to me her visions were in fact inventions. Her trance seizures were unconvincing pantomime, and nothing she predicted ever came true. People believe what they want to believe.

Mad had the pretentions of being a writer, but she never finished anything. She made her money as a dancer in a strip joint, since she had a trim figure. Because of this, she was able to manouver her way into the beds of most of the Company members. After becoming intimate with her, many tended become rather biased and eager to dismiss the inner ugliness she revealed accidentally. Similarly was their trust misused to erode doubt and common-sense; qualities which interfered with the acceptance of Mad's prophecies.

The effect of these prophecies on members of the group is noteworthy. Though originally the scenario which these people lived their lives had started out as a live action RPG, the boundries between the fantasy and reality had completely dissolved. Members reluctantly abandoned jobs, college careers, and even sexual identity at the urgings of these prophecies and the cosmic quests. These quests, though sometimes ritual and sometimes a bit of a city wide junk hunt, kept the people too busy to have lives outside of Madison's control. They sacrificed it all for Madison, and the new world she promised and encouraged blind faith in

Madison as prophetess acted as a pseudo dungeon-master in a world teetering on the edge of apocalypse, where every member of the group were reincarnations of characters from Arthurian Romance, and all of whom were on a holy quest to retrieve seven artifacts needed to rebirth the world into a new age. The forces of Darkness manifested as moody bosses, yuppies, psychic vampires, demons, gray aliens, men in black, the Illuminati, scientists, psychologists, cops, and other forces/people believed to be divisive to the group-- particularly those which were less than flattering to Madison.

Such fantasies must seem dubious to most folk reading this; however, it was very compelling because it fed them a share in a collective messianic delusion, with Madison reaping most of the attention. It is a part of the occult experience to suspend disbelief selectively, but Madison chose to misuse that quality in her intimate friends, having them trade their real potential for an ego trip.

So why did she do all of this? Machievellian or nincompoop?

Perhaps she did it because she craved attention so desperately she was unconcerned about the safety of her lovers and friends. Possibly she harbored some peculiar resentment towards them, and sought to undermine anyone's attempt to become more functional or freer than her.

I somehow doubt she did such ignorantly; one thing she is not is stupid. She has always cherished the role of the noble victim, frustrating those who knew better into an anger which made them look belligerant.

In the end, it doesn't particularly matter why she did and continues to do these things. No excuse or apology is sufficient, and none have been offered anyway.